25!

Another mandatory blog post for my birthday.

Seperempat abad sounds sooooo old for me. Years ago, I think I'll be safe and settle at 25. Saya pikir 25 tahun adalah usia dewasa di mana saya akan menjadi lebih tenang menghadapi hidup, lebih terarah melihat masa depan, dan sudah melengkapi separuh dien dengan seseorang. The last one is like the worst yet it's true. I did thought that I'll be a wife at my 25.

Kenyataannya, di usia 25 tahun ini rasanya saya masih berantakan, still wondering where will I bring my life to, dan bahkan sempat terpikir untuk tidak menikah (because my own life has been in ruin, I can't imagine someone wants to be on the same chaos with me). And here I am. On my 25, still like the same old me.

To think it through, I don't even know have I evolve in some good way after all this time. After all that I've been through. After all those stupidity and those failures.

Justru somehow saya merasakan kemunduran dalam diri saya. Beberapa waktu yang lalu, saya sudah berhasil melepaskan diri dari belenggu 'fangirling'. I've lived a 'clean' life. But then, last year it came back. I got drown on another series of fangirling stuff. And in more severe way; I went to a live concert cost around 3 millions (like, HELL THATS A WHOLE BUNCH OF PENNY).

Lalu? Apa yang bisa saya banggakan dari 25 tahun saya ini? For being live but not alive?

But then I'm promising my self. I want me to be more self-cautious. 'Kebrawokan' saya perlu untuk diminimalisir. I want me to be more expressive on some way. Because I've been 'hiding' my self. I need to show the true me.

Duh ini harapannya kok banyak banget ya. Intinya, saya masih perlu banyak belajar tentang berbagai hal. Tentang kedokteran, tentang kehidupan, dan tentang diri saya.

Happy Birthday, Nikma Kurnianingtyas Bekti!
From the one and only, your forever partner in crime, your forever fan, your forever lover, your forever hater, Nikma Kurnianingtyas Bekti ♡