Kembali merasa bodoh setelah semua yang saya lakukan selama ini. Once we were that close even just via short message. Then I selfishly thought that ‘Oh, we’re already close. It’s okay right to be more casual?’ Shot. So maybe that’s just me who thought like that. Coz the reality is, we still far. Like what, Sabang-Merauke? Whatever.
I have a new habbit now. Checking my phone with high expectation that it will be that-person—coz I feel too awkward writing ‘him’—who text me. Or that-person who mentioned me. Or any other expectation came because of that-person. Who do you think you are to have those expectations sih, Nik? Get your ass off your stupid hope dong. Wake up. It doesn’t same like those imajinative stupid lovey dovey fairy tale. This is the real world. Where not everyone has a beautiful ending. Oke. Mungkin tamparan barusan masih terlalu kurang untuk membangunkan saya dari mimpi saya.
I’ve read this quote in twitter. ‘Never expect, never assume, never ask, never demand. Let it be. If it meant to be, it will happen.’ THEORETICALLY. Prakteknya? Tetap saja saya dengan seenaknya berekspektasi tinggi, berasumsi tinggi, dan ber-lainnya yang semakin melambungkan harapan saya. PAYAH. It isn’t anyone’s fault dong ya kalau kamu jadi kenapa-napa, Nik. Blame yourself. Siapa suruh seenaknya menerbangkan dirinya sendiri. Don’t you feel like a fool now? Too late. Ck.
This is seriously an extremely disgusting post. I don’t like to write any love-related thingy. Ergh. Like I know what love means. Then why do I still writing this long? Blame my stupid brain.
This shouldn’t be a love-week actually. I have my block exams and bunch of project to do. And honestly this stupid thing distract me enough from those more important stuff. Makanya gak usah main api dong kalo gak mau kebakaran.
YAK. Wake up and throw away those dumb thought, Nik. Your life won't end just because of this right?
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